


Calm

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 17:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3390281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caesar and Toll both smirked at Barney's warning tone, "You'd stepped out, Tool, which I always kinda regretted, for your sake."  They gave the suddenly curious artist grins, "You missed when Christmas walked into the shop."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calm

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.
> 
> For this prompt: For some reason I'm thinking of the guys sitting around a table talking about how calm Barney is and how fucking annoying it is. And Barney's just shaking his head. then someone brings lee up and the ragging ensues

"Come on, Tool, admit it. You want to throw a knife at him sometimes."

Tool chuckled indulgently, "Gunner, my friend, I remember when he was young. And just as annoyingly calm. If you think *this* is bad? You should have tried to keep.. actually, he was worse." He met Barney's eyes thoughtfully, "He was... much more closed, back then. You couldn't ruffle him. Had to work like hell to get a smile, even; forget about anything stronger than a glare. Was maddening."

Doc snickered out loud, smirking at Barney's rolled eyes. "I remember old Franklin was sure it was a put-on. No one 20 years younger than *he* was could be so fucking cool-headed in every fucking situation. Including when *he* charged Barney and got flipped on his back without even a change of expression."

Caesar huffed a short laugh, grinning at Toll, "I don't know, *I* remember Barney getting good and thrown."

"Caesar..."

Caesar and Toll both smirked at Barney's warning tone, "You'd stepped out, Tool, which I always kinda regretted, for your sake." They gave the suddenly curious artist grins, "You missed when Christmas walked into the shop."

"Not walked," Toll corrected, eyes bright as Barney covered his with a groan, "**Strutted**."

Caesar's head tilted in mock thought, but he couldn't hold the pose for more than a couple seconds before snickering, "Very true, thank you. So there the three of us were, trying to chill in a sweltering hot New Orleans afternoon, when in struts this kid, still holding himself like a soldier, bald as I am, skintight jeans -remember those, Barney?-" Caesar leered fearlessly into Barney's glare before smirking at the others, "And an undone leather jacket. And I don't mean with a shirt underneath."

"For fuck's sake Caesar-"

"No no, I want to hear this!" Gunner's smile covered half his face.

And Galgo's nods looked like they might damage his spine.

Caesar shrugged, "I can't disappoint them, Barney."

Tool patted Barney's shoulder as the man sank down in his seat with a glower for everyone at the table.

"So, where was I?"

"Half-naked Christmas. You were probably about to mention the foot-long blade he was flipping as he walked."

Waiting out the assorted snorts and laughs at the image, Caesar finally took up his story. "So this cocky sod struts into Tool's shop, looks around like he's already bored. Sees the target on the wall, still with Barney's knife in one of the skull's eyes." He grins and looks at his audience, "Anyone want to guess what he does?"

Doc laughs out loud, "Threw his meat cleaver into the other eye!"

Caesar nodded while everyone shook their heads, "You got it. Perfect bull's eye. And suddenly," he smirked at Barney, who was affecting a blank expression, "Suddenly *this* one sits up. And when I look over, Mr.Cool-Hand Luke is looking somewhere between annoyed at the visitor's lack of manners... and.. what would you call that, Toll?"

Toll looked upward for a sec, thinking back, "I'd say.. 'intrigued'."

"Um.." Caesar rolled the word around and finally shrugged, "Good enough. So our newly intrigued boss gets up and walks over to the boy staring at us all with open challenge and says-"

"Think you're good with that knife, do you?" Toll's imitation gave the words plenty of cocky challenge of their own.

"Yeah!" Caesar grinned, "That was *just* right! And Christmas smirks and says 'Pretty good. Better with these.' and pats his thighs." Caesar watched Barney hunch down a little more, "And Barney freezes for noticeable seconds before replying-"

"Huskily. I definitely remember he suddenly got damned hard to understand."

"True, true." Caesar nodded thoughtfully, "So he replies 'Yeah? On three, try to mirror those shots' and turns to the table next to him to deliberately pick up and put on his gunbelt." He gave Barney a smile, "If it makes you feel better, Christmas' mouth dropped open when he saw what you were doing."

"And a little longer than that too..." Toll snickered at the memory and gave Galgo a wry look for his wide-eyed stare.

"That he did. So then Barney counts down, draws his guns and shoots right along the inside of the two knives, and Christmas draws and throws his thigh knives. And I swear, if I hadn't seen with my own eyes that Christmas' knife tips were *inside* bullet holes, I'd never have been convinced which of them got the target first." He smiled thoughtfully, shaking his head, "Kid was good." He met Barney's reluctant eyes.

"Damn good."

Barney's agreement made Caesar smile wider, knowing it was tacit permission to go on. "And he knew it. Christmas' smile about covered his face, even when he walked over to the target and saw the bullet holes, good-natured cocky sod," he never looked away from Barney, "Barney was still staring at him, frozen, when Christmas started laughing and walked back to him. 'That's some *nice* shooting, old man. You part of the Expendables I'm supposed to meet?'." Caesar's smile faded a bit, more thoughtful, "You know something? I think that was the first time I really saw you grin, Barney."

" *I*'d sure as fuck never heard him laugh like that. How many games did they play?"

Caesar snorted, "They shot and knifed up all four dartboards Tool had." And Tool suddenly looked quite enlightened. "Hugged each other about a dozen times-"

"Don't forget the dance!"

They both ignored Barney's groan. 

"Oh fuck yeah," Caesar's smile came back so wide it hurt his cheeks, "When the second board fell to pieces. God only knows *why*, but they locked an elbow and started doing what looked like a fucking *raindance*, spinning around each other and laughing like loons."

At that point, everyone but Tool and Barney were staring at them like they were mad.

"No, seriously! He's not even *slightly* exaggerating." Toll tried to sound convincing, but he knew it was a tough buy and didn't expect much; that playful Barney hadn't stuck around past that day, for all that Lee's presence *had* made him more animated.

"Barney??" Doc's voice was incredulous as he stared at the man hiding his face behind his splayed hand as his head shook slowly from side to side.

 

Barney finally gave in to the demanding silence and looked up. It wasn't that he was.. well. His eyes unfocused as he thought. He *did* try to be calm. He was their leader and a good leader kept his cool. And the shit didn't get simpler if you lost it; *some* one had to be thinking straight to fix things and it was *his* job. It didn't mean he never let himself go. It *didn't*! It just.. didn't happen often.

And yeah, it was Lee that got him going more often than not.

*That*.. had been.. a particularly.. spectacular.. *letting go*.

"I don't remember why we did that particular dance. The rest," he shrugged, pretending not to be wincing as he remembered not being able to speak the next day after all that laughing, "Is close enough."

"Because we brought the pieces of the board raining down."

Barney's eyes closed again at the quiet voice behind his chair. This should be good. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Heard my name as I walked in." Familiar hands landed on his shoulders with a proprietary feel, making him glad his eyes were closed so he didn't see the expressions that were likely around them. "Didn't realize you used to be such a grouch."

Toll spoke up, sounding a lot quieter to Barney's ears, "He wasn't a grouch. Just.. calm."

"Quiet." Doc added his two cents, as usual. "All the time."

Lee's hands tightened on his shoulders, massaging without being obvious, a protective growl appearing in his voice, "Yeah? Well keeping you lot in line would wear out a saint. And he ain't one of them."

Enough. Barney reached up and patted one of Lee's hands before slowly getting up, giving the man time to move back. He gave the tableful of mercenaries a wry look, "How about I just let you go down memory lane without me? You can make all the commentary you want without my having to think of them the next time I have to split up the dough."

"Very calm answer, boss." Toll grinned at him as he said it.

An arm landed across his shoulders, drawing his eyes to his erstwhile right-hand; Lee grinned back at him, "Come on Barney, let's go do a raindance somewhere they won't be shocked."


End file.
